Suddenly in need of care - coping with mental stress
What to do if a family member suddenly needs care?
When a family member suddenly becomes in need of care, it can change everything. The challenge of caring for a loved one who suddenly needs help can be overwhelming. Whether due to an accident, illness or old age, this situation not only turns everyday life upside down, but also brings with it many unanswered questions. How do I deal with it? What are the next steps? Where can I find support?
Don't worry, you're not alone. In this article, we'll show you the first steps you should take to overcome the situation. We give you practical tips on care, financial help such as nursing allowance and answer important legal and emotional questions.
Whether you want to care for your relative at home or are considering a care facility - we'll help you find the best way. At noracares, you can directly find caregivers who are a perfect fit for your situation - and you can communicate with them directly via the platform.
Sudden need for care - An exceptional emotional situation
The need for care often develops gradually - but sometimes it comes like a bolt from the blue.This is exactly what Karoline experiences.
She is 44 years old, mother of two, working, her days are full. One rainy morning, she is looking out of the window, lost in thought, when the phone rings. On the line: a doctor from the accident hospital. His message is short - but drastic. Her 76-year-old mother has had a serious fall. Due to her age and injury, it is clear that she will need nursing care. From now on.
Karoline hangs up. It takes her a moment to realize what has happened. Her mother - the strong woman who always had everything under control - suddenly needs help. Permanently. And she herself is now supposed to decide, organize, be strong.
"I had to function. I didn't have time to grieve or think. But inside, I was completely overwhelmed." - this is how many family caregivers describe their first few days after the shock.
When everyday life becomes a state of emergency
Many families feel the same way as Karoline. Suddenly having to take on caring responsibilities is a major turning point. Fear, overwhelm, feelings of guilt and uncertainty are completely natural reactions. However, these feelings are often suppressed - out of a sense of duty, shame or the belief that we "have to somehow manage it on our own".
But the truth is: Nursing doesn't just need organization - it also needs emotional support. It is particularly important to take care of yourself in the first few days after a sudden need for care. And that starts with taking your own emotional state seriously.
Taking emotional stress seriously
Many relatives feel:
- Fear of the new responsibility
- the feeling of being overwhelmed
- Doubt: "Can I even do this?"
- Guilt when you can't help around the clock
- Anger or sadness that life has changed so much
All of this is normal. And all of that is allowed to be there.You don't have to function perfectly - you are allowed to be exhausted, sad or insecure. Care begins with humanity,not with control.
What helps you now
- Get support: Care Advice Centers, GPs, social services or platforms such as noracares will help you take the first steps.
- Speak to others:Familiar people or support groups can provide enormous relief. You are not alone - even if it sometimes feels that way.
- Allow your feelings: Tears, doubt or frustration are also part of caregiving. It is not a sign of weakness - but a sign that you care.
- Use Short-term care or professional help: You don't have to carry everything alone. At noracares, you'll find caregivers with heart and experience who can step in at short notice and give you some breathing space.
Nora's tip: Grooming doesn't just change everyday life - it turns everything upside down. Take your time to get used to it. It's okay if you don't have a plan straight away. The important thing is that you start - step by step, with patience and compassion.
First steps in case of sudden need for care
Step 1: Get advice
Now you need information - quickly and reliably. Submit an application for care allowance (Care level in Austria, care degree in Germany) and contact a care counselor. Public bodies such as the Austrian Health and Nursing Association or the Care allowance service portal can help. In Germany, for example, the Medical Service (MD).
Step 2: Split the work
Care is teamwork. Talk to family, friends and neighbors and divide up tasks. Professional help via the noracares platform can also provide immediate relief - here you can find trained caregivers at short notice.
Nora's Quick Tips for Short-Term Care
- Short-term care in nursing homes possible for up to eight weeks
- Ten days of care leave according to Austrian labor law
- Emergency care via mobile services of the municipality or social stations
Step 3: Healthcare proxy & living will
Clarify legal questions as soon as possible. Can your relative still make their own decisions? If not, arrange powers of attorney via a health care proxy or care directive. You can find more information at oesterreich.gv.at or at the German Alzheimer Society.
Step 4: Involve the person in need of care
No one likes to give up their independence. Be considerate of wishes and fears. Plan together. Let your relatives know that you are there. Offer alternatives - e.g. day care or hourly care.
Step 5: Clarify finances
Care costs -emotionally, temporally, financially. Clarify:
- How much is the deductible?
- What benefits are covered (care allowance, social assistance, allowances)?
- Are there supports for conversions or mobility aids?
In Austria, you can submit applications to the Pensionsversicherungsanstalt (PVA) stellen. In Germany via the Pflegekasse Deiner Krankenkasse.
Recognizing psychological stress and taking it seriously
Caregiving relatives do an enormous amount - physically, organizationally, emotionally. Especially when care suddenly becomes necessary, there is often a wave of responsibility that is hard to grasp. Stress, sleeplessness, feelings of guilt and emotional exhaustion are not exceptions - they are often the rule.
Karoline, who left her mother after a Fall into a partial hospital care has been given, one wonders:
"Am I a bad daughter because I can't do everything on my own?"
The answer is quite clear: No. You're not a bad daughter, son or partner just because you can't handle everything yourself. Caring shouldn't mean losing yourself.You are allowed to make decisions that also protect you.
Typical signs of mental overload:
- You feel permanently tired or empty inside.
- You are irritated, sad or feel guilty - for no clear reason.
- You withdraw or hardly feel any joy.
- You have physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach problems or insomnia.
- You feel like you're trapped in a permanent dysfunction.
These feelings are an important signal from your body and soul. It does not mean that you are weak - it means that you have been strong for too long without getting help.
Ways to deal with pressure
There are strategies you can use to relieve and stabilize yourself emotionally.They don't require big steps, but the courage to be honest with yourself:
Accept your feelings
Tears, anger, frustration - it's all allowed. Caregiving is emotionally demanding. Don't judge yourself for your reactions, but take them seriously as a sign that you feel - and love.
Speak to trusted people
Friends, partners or siblings can listen to you and help you sort out your thoughts. A conversation is often enough to make you feel less alone.
Use support groups
Exchange ideas with other relatives - e.g. via. e.g. via self-help.at, which arranges groups nationwide. Here you will find people who understand exactly what you are going through.
Plan conscious time-outs
A walk, an afternoon just for you, a good book - small oases help you to recharge your batteries. Your well-being is just as important as that of the person in need of care.
Search for professional support
A carer with experience in psychological support can make everyday life noticeably easier - e.g. through empathetic Communication or targeted relief.
At noracares you will find caregivers who are not only professionally competent, but also supportive with heart and understanding.
Keeping rituals, hobbies and purpose
Care means change - but it doesn't have to mean a loss of joie de vivre. Especially in challenging times, familiar rituals, favorite hobbies and small everyday pleasures provide strength and orientation.
A new everyday life can - and should - be lively, colorful and meaningful. Because those who find themselves in small things feel more secure and more at home with themselves. And that's exactly what it's all about: creating stability through meaning, structure and connection.
Why rituals are so valuable
Rituals are like emotional anchors. They remind us of earlier phases of life, provide support and promote self-esteem. They help older people or those in need of care in particular to cope better in a changed everyday life - even if they have cognitive or physical limitations.
A lovingly laid breakfast table, the daily "good morning" song or the evening card game: Even simple actions can provide security.
Ideas for meaningful activities in everyday care
For yourself: Space for your own joy
With all due care, don't forget to also Keep or create your own rituals. Maybe it's afternoon tea, your favorite podcast or a short walk after dinner - these "islands" help you to recharge your batteries.
If you consciously schedule them in, they will remain even in a busy day - as valuable time just for you.
Sudden need for care presents families with major emotional and organizational challenges. Feelings such as overwhelm, uncertainty or guilt are completely normal in such moments - and they are allowed to be there. You may need time. You are allowed to stumble. And you are allowed to get help.
What counts is not perfection, but compassion - for your loved one, but also for yourself. It's about taking it step by step, making small decisions, accepting support and recognizing: You don't have to do this alone.
Whether through care allowance, counseling, psychological support or a loving caregiver - there are many ways to relieve your burden. On noracares you will find exactly the right people to accompany you and your family in this new phase of life: competent, empathetic and directly contactable via the platform.
Care should be understandable, humane and dignified - for everyone involved. And that's exactly what we're here for.
You take care of your loved ones - we take care of you.
- Level of care: Classification of the need for care - in Germany care degree (1-5), in Austria care level (1-7).
- Nursing: Financial support to ensure care.
- Presidential Power of Attorney: Legal document authorizing another person to make decisions in an emergency.
- Short-term care: Temporary care in a facility, e.g. after a hospital stay. e.g. after a stay in hospital .
- Inpatient care: Day or night care in a care facility while remaining in your own home.
- Support group: Group meetings with people in similar life situations for mutual exchange and empowerment.
- noracares: A platform where families can find and contact caregivers directly and organize care together with them - simply, reliably, personally.
